Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Style Brush Strokes 5 of 5: Action Verbs

What am I reading now? Whispers at Moonrise (C.C. Hunter)

Annnd . . . what do I think so far? Aren't love triangles annoying--I mean interesting--I mean infuriating--I mean engaging. You know what I mean, right? So you end up picking sides and half the readers are going to be mad in the end.
     I really tried not to choose between the boys for my reader-loyalty (you know, because it's just a book and all) but I did anyway.
     Grrrrrr. So here it is. . .
     I don't think Lucas wants Kylie because he wants her, but more because he's always wanted her and now it's a possessive thing and not soul-mate love. While Derek is the guy letting her find herself, not needing her to be something for him, and he's accepted a role that must hurt him a great deal (based on his own gifts and the frequency of Kylie and Derek making out--he feels it and that must really suck!)
     I am enjoying the stories of the side characters especially the love story between Holiday and Burnett. Both of them have interesting backstories (though we only know bits--and would love to know more! Prequel anyone?) The other characters are growing up nicely too; Della is more comfortable in her own undead skin; Perry is a much stronger person overall; Miranda--hum--I hope in the next book she gets to overcome her insecurities (and maybe her mother--yeah, that would be awesome).
     The END! Could there be anything more cliffy-hangy? Like a cliff on a cliff. Yes, I'll read the next one.
Style Brush Strokes Part 5 of 5
Image Grammar by Harry Noden

5•Action Verbs: replace “being” verbs such as: is, was, were, be
Example:
The grocery store was robbed by two armed men. Two armed men robbed the grocery store.
Practice: Compare the two revisions of the same paragraph. First, identify the “being” verbs in these sentence.
“Rockwell was a beautiful lake. Canada geese could be heard across the water bugling like tuneless trumpets. Near the shore, two children were hidden behind a massive maple tree. Watching quietly, they hoped to see the first gosling begin to hatch. Tiny giggles escaped their whispers of excitement.”
Practice: Identify the Action Verbs that replaced the “being” verbs.
“Rockwell Lake echoed with the sounds of Canada geese. Their honking bugled across the water like tuneless trumpets. Two children hid behind the massive maple tree. They silently watched, hoping to see* the first goslings hatch. Tiny giggles escaped their whispers of excitement.”

*the being-­‐verb is moved into the participle instead of attached to the verb/predicate

Apply: Rewrite a sentence from your current WIP by removing the “being” verb and replacing it with an action verb.

1 comment:

Renae Weight Mackley said...

I think this is the one do so poorly with in our first drafts, but their is usually an easy fix. Thanks for the series. I would enjoy more in the future.