Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Style Brush Strokes 4 of 5: Adjectives out of order

What am I reading now? The Faerie Ring (Kiki Hamilton)

Annnd . . . what do I think so far? Tiki steals--anything, everything to keep her and her family (a group of orphans in Victorian England) alive. Coins mostly, food when she can, and one day a ring. A beautiful ring whose gem is burning with a fire beneath the delicate cut. Selling the ring means food, warmth, and live saving medicine. It means a way out of the streets and a home. But Tiki finds out that it also means danger, mystery, treason and death.
     Although this book is the opening act for a series, it has a satisfying ending and the story easily stands alone. (LOVE that!) The second book is already out and the third one is due in May.

Style Brush Strokes Part 4 of 5
Image Grammar by Harry Noden

4•Adjectives Shifted Out of Order: Avoid stacking 3 adjectives in a row before the noun they modify, move one or more out of order and offset with commas
The kind woman, old and wrinkled, smiled upon her newborn great grandson with pride.
“And then, suddenly, in the very dead of the night, there came a sound to my ears, clear, resonant, and unmistakable.” (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle)
Practice: Find the adjectives that are split apart from the noun they modify.
“The Pavilion was a simple city, long and rectangular.” (Caleb Carr—The Alienist)
Apply: Rewrite a sentence from your current WIP, inserting three adjectives that are split apart from an existing noun they modify.

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