Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Style Brush Strokes 4 of 5: Adjectives out of order

What am I reading now? The Faerie Ring (Kiki Hamilton)

Annnd . . . what do I think so far? Tiki steals--anything, everything to keep her and her family (a group of orphans in Victorian England) alive. Coins mostly, food when she can, and one day a ring. A beautiful ring whose gem is burning with a fire beneath the delicate cut. Selling the ring means food, warmth, and live saving medicine. It means a way out of the streets and a home. But Tiki finds out that it also means danger, mystery, treason and death.
     Although this book is the opening act for a series, it has a satisfying ending and the story easily stands alone. (LOVE that!) The second book is already out and the third one is due in May.

Style Brush Strokes Part 4 of 5
Image Grammar by Harry Noden

4•Adjectives Shifted Out of Order: Avoid stacking 3 adjectives in a row before the noun they modify, move one or more out of order and offset with commas
Example:
The kind woman, old and wrinkled, smiled upon her newborn great grandson with pride.
“And then, suddenly, in the very dead of the night, there came a sound to my ears, clear, resonant, and unmistakable.” (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle)
Practice: Find the adjectives that are split apart from the noun they modify.
“The Pavilion was a simple city, long and rectangular.” (Caleb Carr—The Alienist)
Apply: Rewrite a sentence from your current WIP, inserting three adjectives that are split apart from an existing noun they modify.

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